Dinner 4

We covered a great deal in a relatively brief meal. Family, careers, personal goals--of course these are just the basics and only allude to the underlying personalities. A few interesting developments however did occur. He realized we were much more alike than he first thought. I knew it because of experience. The way he moved, looked at people, and handled himself in the gym. They were all tell tale indicators of deeper attitudes that emanate from certain similarities. He was tongue tied at several points during dinner. He just didn't expect it.

For one, he pinned me as being a regular American. He didn't know that one of my parents was an immigrant.

Two, and I was the one who didn't expect this one--we were both extremely athletically inclined and prioritized it more so than usual. Regarding this attitude, it's something more than just the average male's affixation to sports news or happenings. Perahps, the attitude is more akin to the greek ideal of balance. He was in high school an all season athlete. Although most of the sports he played were individual, he did have team experience. His body is unusual for an Asian. It is a mix of a heavy set All-American jock with that difficult to articulate lithe Asian construction. He told me about some of the crazy sacrifices he made in high school in order to continue his athletic career. He hasn't continued in college, but the ethic and volume of physical work is still there. He was proud of his accomplishments. In addition, unlike most regular jocks, he ate carefully and lightly. I asked him if his friends ate like that. He smiled and sort of laughed and said, no. I asked, do they make fun of you? Yea, he said, but I don't care. That was and to some degree still is me. As an undergrad hiding my diet was tough. I got made fun of a good bit. I didn't know how to handle it well though. I took their derision too seriously.

Three, our parents worked in similar occupations. This was a funny moment because I was half way shitting on the profession. I was cautious in doing so, and then of course he said--that's what my father does. I looked down and grinned. He likely thought I was embarassed, but then I looked up, and with an arched brow, said, Ha, that's funny, that's what my dad does too. Then we laughed, but he didn't laugh so hard, I think because he just didn't expect this degree of similarity. Clearly, I meant no harm because I had also talked about how much I respected my father.

Four, this similarity is a bit more abstract and less explicitly stated during the meal. We briefly got onto the topic of how our university handles the direction of its mission. I don't know who brought it up or what prompted it. I mentioned a brief aside on that topic and my experience while in school. To explain my experience I mentioned my very first major. I didn't finish it, but it was my original interest. He sat up straight, and looked at me with that earnest look again. He didn't say a word. He just kept looking at me. His earnestness was again accompanied by that openness. I think he wanted me to continue.

I was getting nervous, and I had finished my salad as had he. I put my fork down, looked at the empty plate, and said, "This was good." I paused since I had said the words in a way that made the phrase an obvious reference not to the salad, but to the experience as a whole.

Then I looked at him again, and he was still in that earnest posture, looking right at me, waiting for me to continue. I said, there's a lot more to the story of why I selected and then dropped that major, but that is a whole different conversation. I briefly admitted at the difficulty in picking that academic path as an undergrad and how it might be better suited as a corollary to professional studies. He laughed nervously, and agreed. Then I put my napkin onto the plate, making it obvious that I wanted to end the meal. I said, "Thanks... I now owe you dinner." Then he grinned and said, "I'm going to get more food." Insane I thought, because that salad was quite a mountain of everything.

We walked out, and ran into some of his friends. He waved and smiled at them, but didn't stop, and didn't introduce me. A wise move I thought and halfway regretted. I didn't think I was ready to meet his friends, nor was he, or even they ready. Having reached the door, we shook hands as I said, I'm sure I'll see you again at the gym soon.