Yesterday I was at the gym at the regular time, and Asian boy didn't show up.
No worries, except for the fact that I think about him too much. Its retarded because there's nothing going on.
I can chalk it up perhaps to the fact that few people have caught my eye or that I have not caught the eye of others. But I am reminded often that such is not the case.
Something about him compels my interest. I hate it.
He's young. Confused not just about his fucken major but in all likelihood about the major issues in life as well--like his sexuality.
I want to learn how to pursue without being neurotic. I have witnessed a couple other friends become like me in a pursuit and I just think--something must be wrong with them.
I say to myself that I have nothing to lose. This assumption is true as long as I stay detached. Thankfully, there is little to which to become attached at this point, except for my own ideations.
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