I just got home after hanging out with Bef at her place having some late night drinks. The topic quickly turned to sugar daddies and eventually to trophy husbands.
I talked about Steroid boi and his "best friend" and how the last time I saw him at the gym he said to me--"Oh, I've been 'taking care of him' this past week." I talked about the first guy I dated, who also expected his future partner to make the majority of the money, and the second (also last guy) I dated who's best friend also paid for everything (including my dinners).
The gay world seems to have dichotimized itself into the likeness of the hetero world. Older, out of shape, financially driven males use their resources to acquire less driven gorgeous younger bois. "Except," Bef said, "the gay world being even more superficial than the hetero world, requires an even more fierce distinction."
Damn. That's nuts, because well, I want to be both. I would never want someone to pay for my anything, and I would rarely want to completely support someone else. To this Bef added, "Then you do have those amazing power couples who synergistically optimize their talents to produce even more wealth."
Sure why not.
Then the conversation turned towards Ty and Dean--because well, though their ages do not follow the Sugar Daddy pattern, in all other respects, their relationship does abide by theat template.
I walked over to Bef's apartment's northern wall. She has a framed picture of her Dean and a male supermodel. It's a cute snap shot. The three of them are cold, huddled together, and laughing really hard. All three of them are laughing in poses that flatter them--a reflexive reaction in a world where every picture matters. What stuck out to me though was that despite his age, and despite the guy he was sitting with, Dean stuck out. He was just as hot and photogenic as the model.
"So Dean's not driven?" I asked Bef. "Ty is good friends with MS (a female supermodel). She made a few calls and tried to jump start Dean's career. Dean didn't return or respond to a single call or e-mail. He could've had his own career by now and been making his own money. But apparently that's not what he wants. He could've done fashion or jewelry design. He's talked about putting together a gallery exhibit. He could be more active at his current job and actually become a partner. It would be easy for him to do any of these things. But he doesn't. He just seems to want to be taken care of. Some men just want that," she explained.
"How long have they been together?" I asked. "Seven years," Bef replied. "Geez... just one year after Ty arrived to the city," I said.
"Exactly," said Bef, "and in all that time, Ty has made a fortune, and Dean hasn't done a single thing of which he's talked about doing."
"I heard they haven't had sex in a while."
"I heard they haven't even kissed in a while."
"Do you think they love each other?"
"Ty definitely loves Dean. But I think Dean's love for Ty is only brotherly love."
"How can that be?"
"Dean's not attracted to Ty anymore. When they started at first, Ty was really well built, but he wasn't working as much. Now, Ty is fifty pounds heavier, doesn't care about what he eats, but makes virtually all of the money."
I don't want my life to end up this way. I have yet to meet a gay couple that epitomizes or that models the paradigm I desire for my future. I suppose I'll just have to create that vision for myself without examples.
No comments:
Post a Comment