Back in the day, before I started this blog I used to have a life. I'm sort of regaining my life, but a huge took place about three weeks ago.
I stopped talking to my best friend, my fag hag, my long lost twin, whatever, exactly three years ago this coming week. I did the Landmark forum and among the many realizations I made that weekend, I called her up.
We met in middle school, and basically grew with each other afterwards. When my family needed rehab referrals for one of my siblings--I went to her, and at that point we became great friends. It was classic because in order to navigate the rehab scene, she had to share all the shit through which she had gone.
We were so young at that point. Just both got our cars, and we were hungry to take the city on... on our terms finally that is. We had both been through our dork phase and were ready to come out.
We slowly took over the city. She has a brand-name last name and I had the research skills to always put a twist on any hunky dory experience. We were both spoiled beyond belief and had all the time in the world to just search and search, taste and taste, till we would drop.
People eventually started to really think of us as peas in a pod. We rarely went places without each other, and people started to notice. It was hilarious. It did get to me eventually and I started to put the distance in there at some point. Nonetheless, we had a blast. What I love most about her is that despite all the glitz and fab, she is always present to the falsity and emptiness of all that humans do. Everything becomes a very funny situation as a result. We were lucky that we got first row seats at much of the wackiness in which people engage.
She slept with my other best friend, who was in a relationship, and on whom I had a huge crush. That's my story of why I cut her off. It didn't have to be that way, obviously.
Right after our break up, we kept running into each other about the town. It made sense I guess. We were just so similar, and we had developed into very similar people. The most touching moment for me was when I saw her, outside a club, a year later. She was by herself, just chillin, and biting her pinky's nail. That's what she always did when she was a little bored and a little anxious. It killed me. It really did. I love her, and I realized at that moment that I really really did love her.
I still didn't talk to her at that time, and I thought to myself, I can just love her from a far. I don't have to have her in my life.
To be continued...
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