To know All...

... is to Forgive All--said one great thinker.

I had a conversation with one of my sister's today. She's been out of sync with herself for a while. I sort of suspected it, but didn't realize how major her deal was.

I love my sister so much--she's like fucken extreme. Workaholic but when it comes to being--uberly chill.

She mentioned that she didn't have time to really live this past month and her workload just took a serious step up. She told me about how well her work is going and how she has some excellent new ideas that will blow away the competition. I told her to go for it.

But then, almost out of no where, she confessed that she is having random thoughts about the past on which she doesn't let herself dwell--b/c she just has too much to do. I just kept listening, and eventually the truth surfaced.

She feels guilty. Guilty about her actions with our parents.

I thought that yesterday's post was ironic. She said she didn't know when she would return to our family. As of now, she didn't think it would ever happen. But she couldn't get over it still.

I told her she would when she had forgiven--not just them, but herself. She wouldn't be able to forgive until she understood that they are in her and she is in them. She had to understand that we were one--b/c we are Human. She would forgive when she understood what our parents went through and why they did what they did. She would do so only when she understood herself enough to have mercy on herself and forgive herself. To face oneself honestly so as to know oneself honestly will eventually allow self-understanding and self-mercy. A disaster understood becomes a tragedy, which by definition breeds mercy.

She told me that a friend of hers was teasing her the other day because she didn't have a man. I said I lauded her for it. She asked why. I said because she didn't give into the pressure of having to have someone. She said it was just because no one could put up with her. I said it was because she refused to be fake. She said being fake is miserable. I said being real is miserable too. The only difference in the latter is that it gets you somewhere. Reality may hurt but it advances your existence. Falsity may make it temporarily palatable, but it'll never actually help you evolve.

She was silent. She said she couldn't talk about these things much longer and still do work tonight. I got annoyed, because I also wanted to talk about this. But, I have a lot to do too. Aren't distractions the best? He he... just kidding.