Asians Part 2

So I got inspired by Single Guy's cool pic and decided to be a bit more forward with Asian guy... I had been sort of not been very talkative with him lately. To some extent, I have done so as to overwhelm him not with gay vibes.

I told myself---1. he's an undergrad (they're lost and confused... don't know what the hell they want) 2. he's asian and comes from a tight family (neither they nor he will be cool with breaking convention) 3. he has a fan club of girls (and guys) who think he's gorgeous, so he must have a girl friend.

So I did as any good stalker does and I checked his myspace account. Unlike every insecure male undergrad at my school--he did not include his orientation. Wierd. He's single--sort of wierd for a super hot, apparently traditionally and family oriented male. These findings didn't help one fucken bit. They only make my confusion worst.

Yesterday at the gym he came in briefly to do some shoulder work. So freagin hot... I ended up heading for one of the machines near the door right as he was going to leave out the door. As he turned towards the door, I saw that he was smirking to himself--but he didn't say hi. He's done this sort of thing before and it reminded me of something a couple of other guys whom I came to befriend at school did too. Mancrushing, confused, teasing, insecure, yet cocky and flirty boys--I hated them for it. Fuck no... not again. So I wrote him off.

Then I saw the above pic... and thought--what if he's different from the others? Or what if I've mis-reasoned something? Fuck not wanting to overwhelm with gay vibes. I'll be myself--and just not overwhelm him, but definitely let him know that if he were to be cool with it--I'd be all over him.

So today we're both at the gym again. And again he basically ignores me. I was about to write him off when I remembered that some of the guys I have been most into, I couldn't say a fucken word to and even went so far as to ignore b/c I was so damned scared. I was even rude to some of them. I still remembered the day I first spoke to Asian boy and his expression. So I made myself continue.

He was doing situps--fuck he looked good in sleeveless top. I started stretching next to him. He ignored me and seemed to be really concentrating on those sit ups. So I called out to him. He didn't respond. I did so again. And again. Finally, he stopped and turned around to look at me. I smiled and told him to keep going, so he did, and then I just asked him where he was from. He told me the list of cities in which he had lived. He had lived in my home state for a time. Then, I asked what country his family was from. Turns out one of my best friends is from the same asian country as his parents.

I said hello in their language. He responded back--but sort of serious. Then he smiled, and said that I spoke it well. I smiled, and said that my friend had worked hard at teaching me some of the language. Then I said thank you in his language. And he said, that's pretty good. I said--I at least wanted to know enough to order ... and then I named of the dishes of his country. He smiled.

He then said that he thought he had told me where he was from. He said he thought he had told me that he had lived in this city--which was close by to my home town. He looked sort of freaked. I couldn't tell exactly why... yet. Then he sort of got surprised/excited but was still scared and said... I think I told you this already. We talked about this and u told me where u from, he said. I looked at him quizically--we have??? Because we REALLY had not. I knew where he was from b/c I had checked myspace... but we hadn't had this conversation. Odd.

Then he asked me exactly from which part of the town I was from... I didn't like saying exactly the part of town I was from... so I just alluded to it. He understood me, and nodded, and said, its nice around there. I like it a lot. We got into a big conversation.

I said I missed it alot. He said he had been there this past summer. I said cool--where? and to do what?

He said he had friends at a nearby university, the one to which one of my bros was at. More commonalities... more nervous smiles.... more attempting to elongate the conversation.

He stood up mid-way through it all, but I was still stretching on the ground. His shoulders were SOOO wide, his delts so defined and round. When he spoke and moved his shoulder, his upper body would break into the separate muscle groups. He noticed that something was distracting me... but he didn't catch on to what exactly.

The conversation died down... we were both looking for more commonalities. We weren't good at just letting the conversation flow... and we were sort of in the middle of sets... we both tend to stretch or do ab work or something in between them.

I think he doesn't know what to do with me. He's attracted to me... but perhaps its a mancrush and nothing sexual at all. I hate those--they are the most fucken confusing ordeals of all time. I could fucken write a compendium of on situations.

It seems that some straight guys think I'm really cool--and for some stupid reason need me to say it to their faces that I DO MEN TOO. They have no gaydar to speak of and can't figure it out based on other clues that others find obviously indicative. I'm not a flamer--but I'm not totally undetectable either.

Still, I hope to continue getting to know this dude. I wanted to stop altogether with it b/c I didn't want to go end up in a friendship where I like him and he was straight.

I have to break the ice with him. Find a way to get him to be comfortable around me. Otherwise, shit will go like this for way too long. I'm excited though--thanks Single Guy for the cool pic.