Dinner

The day after returning from Thxgiving, I saw Asian boy again at the gym. I had made it abundantly clear that I was interested in getting to know him by inquiring beyond the usual into his holiday. But the attempt was blunted.

The following day, I greeted him politely but cautiously from a distance. He had to wait for his machine. His chest press machine is one of the most numerous at our gym, yet every single one was taken and by more than one person. I'd never seen it like that.

I without having to fake it actually had to workout next to those machines. I cracked a joke about his wait. He laughed. I started conversation about his last comment on his weekend--skiing. He said--yea, its fun. He looked away. I asked how long he had been at it. Hmm.... 5-6 years. Then he looked away again. Fuck, this dude is like pulling wisdom teeth.

Finally, I gave up and we sat there virtually right next to each other and he didn't say a word. It stung--it stung badly. I moved on with my workout and ignored him. As I was leaving, he cut right in front of me as I was leaving the weightroom. He didn't say goodbye or anything despite the obvious fact that I was on my way out.

Who cares I thought--I'm going to the bathroom anyway. Apparently so was he. We stood there and pissed right next to each other. And again, total fucken silence. He finished before me and left. I was losing my mind. What the hell was this?

That was it I told myself--the straw that broke the camel's back. I have been thinking--he's shy. This is how he plays the game. He likes me--he's just not totally out yet. But all of this was contradicted now. I just had to accept reality. He just wasn't that into me.

I called my friends. They said--we told you so. Finally, I made a decision with one of them that I would not have questions lingering in my mind and that I would make one final decisive move to make explicit the implicit. I made a pact to ask him out to something beforing our next phone conversation.

What the hell was I now thinking?

The next day, I said fuck that--this kid isn't worth it. I misread him. He's a stuck up snob who fooled me into thinking he was nice. I fell for it like an idiot.

So I pumped my rap music and walked into the gym drunk from a stimulant cocktail and creatine. As if the fates new when to make matters the worst, I liked the way I looked more on that day as compared to others.

He was there. I didn't care.

I walked past by him. He walked behind me. I stared at him through one of the mirrors drawing his stare thru the reflection back at me. I waved. An indirect greeting was what he was getting.

He looked confused.

I started my workout. Damn, I was jamming. I felt like throwing up after my first round of sets. But after a mercy pacing lap around the weightroom, I was ready for part II of my workout. I was flying--I had the best pump ever.

Finally, I was done and decided to do one last cool down exercise.

I went and reached for the weights. He was parallel to me half way across the room. I looked over. Damn I thought. What stupidity.

Then, I thought to myself--what the hell. Here goes nothing.

I walked over and said--Hey, what's up? He pretended not to hear me. Oh fuck no, I won't be ignored. I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around really quick with a big smile on his face. What was this about I thought to myself? If he's being fake at showing enthusiasm, he sure as hell is fooling me.

I walked away and finished my last few sets.

I came back and this time for the ending of the game.

I waited as he finished his last set. I saw him notice me stare and he got that "I know I'm being watched" look as he strained the last few reps out.

I said, "hey, do you eat right after your workout?"

He was shocked, that I was talking to him and at my question. The word "yea" stumbled out of his mouth. Then, the cogs turned, and he figured it out, and in a split second, his reflex hit me back. "Like an hour or so after my workout."

Damn, deflection, he saw it coming.

"Oh," I looked down, began turning away, and then said, "never mind then."

"Wait, why he said??"

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab something to eat after this?"

"OH.... UHM, I have a meeting after this--till 6:30"

Shit, thats like a fucken long time I thought. He doesn't want to do this. But the expression on his face said that he wanted me to ask him, when after that might it be feasible.

I was too annoyed and disapppointed. I said, "oh, e-mail me then if you want." The spoiled amateur brat that I am I turned and left.

But that was it--I had made a fool of myself, said what was on my mind, and left myself no option for turning back. If something was going to happen, it would. If I misread this whole thing, then I would soon get the fuck off conversation. I would have to wait until the next time and hold on.