More Mercy

I saw gorgeous tonight at the gym... finally, after missing yesterday.

I had a rough week at work, and there was a fucken end of week meeting schedules--which made no fucken sense b/c we weren't talking about anything that needed to be talked about any time soon.

I had one errand I had to run for one of my big bosses. I scheduled it smack in the middle of the meeting--so I had to miss.

I still was late to the gym--I thought I was going to miss Asian boy. But he was there, and apparently had just started.

He came up behind me and patted me on the shoulder to say hi. I turned quickly to him with a smile and said hi in Asian again. But this time, I had a friend teach me how to say, "How are you doing?" as well.

So as he walked away, I said it and he whipped around back. He smiled and was confused. Apparently I said "Goodbye" in a related Asian language as well. He taught me how to say it right. I offered a spot. He said, next set. So I stretched by him, and we chatted a bit. We were waaay more comfortable around each other finally.

So I spotted him on Incline Press, and he adjusted his clothes--half to pretend like he didn't want me to look, and also half way seeing if I was looking. Fuck--maybe he wanted me to look, cuz it was hard not to if he was going to fucken adjust everything after all.

Later, I started my sets, and he wanted another spot. The machines I was using were getting crowded. And prior to spotting him, I had mentioned how annoying it was to come to the gym later in the afternoon when it was full.

Right before starting his set, he said, look the machines are getting taken, you sure you want to spot me? A dumb question as he had his hands on the bar, and I was already positioned to spot him.

I looked over with a somewhat feigned worried look. I also thought, what a retarded question. He must think I'm comfortable with the fact that I am attracted to him and clearly going out of my way to suck up to him. I replied playfully, so hurry the fuck up. He broke into a laugh and started.

Later, he saw me struggling with a weight, but I had to put it down before he could come over. I don't know why, but I sort of wanted him to be as devious about skillfully planning to come and spot me. I know he has before timed his sets in that way for him to get a spot frome. I am retarded in thinking this way... whatever. I don't want to have to ask. Yet, with him as well, I wanted him to ask. Neither of us wants to appear to express desire for the other. We're too cool for that... stupid.

During a subsequent set, he started rushing towards me again b/c I was struggling but again, I lost the weight too early. Then I started with dumbells presenting virtually no opportunity for a spot without being flat out gay.

We ignored each other for th rest of the workout, and then one of his friends showed up, who did actually ask him for spots and shit. So, I was out of the pic. I finished and was going to say "Later", but he was talking to his friend. I'm pretty sure he saw me approach to say bye. Oh well, hopefully I'll c him tomorrow.

I want to be suave enough to come out to him without being clumsy about it at all. I'd like to let him know that yea--I majorily dig him. But that part of the reason that I like him is b/c he's hot, and I don't think he's an asshole, despite his reaction to me, which I think is a separate issue. Whether he likes me or not, pursuing a friendship would still be worthwhile to me. At least that is my current sentiment, which could change if I were to like him more and he proved to definitely not be into me.

A different guy was also at the gym. He's been wanting to hook up with me for a while. We've chatted online before and we know we're both gay. He's been reluctant to just approach me though in real life, I have too b/c I am a bit skeptical about his comfortableness with being out. I also have a stereotype that gay guys are catty and competitive. His inability to just approach me makes me think he's insecure. But he's out and that's way more than Asian Boy.

This other boi is not a bad catch either. He's waaay tall---more than me, which I really like. Dark blonde hair and a sexy year-round light golden tan. He has blue eyes and an articulated brow. However, his attitude makes him to me so predictable, at least in my head. When I see his reactions to me, I feel like I'm fucken watching a movie on repeat. With Asian boy, its usually something unexpected. I think I know what's going on and then it changes. Novelty is prime in any relationship--esp the initial childish ones.

I felt bad for Blondie--I was working out near him and he was sort of freaked by how aloof I was to him. I couldn't help it--Asian Boy was in the room. I've decided to go out this weekend--so I might run into Blondie b/c I know he digs this area's gay scene. I wonder if he'll be too fed up to talk to me.

I felt bad about leaving Asian Boy without making an overt attempt to talk to him more or actually make a concrete move. But, I guess I have to get comfortable with him being comfortable. I also realized that he's enjoying the power trip of having another man being into him--another guy who is someone he's impressed by athletically.

I remember that was a really big deal for me early on. The first time I nabbed a bruiser, I could scarcely talk to him but I wanted to make him react as often as I could. I luved watching this super big broad shouldered square jawed sexy buff man go to pieces whenever I would tease him. It was nauseatingly self centered and stupid, but a lot of fun and to me exceedingly useful in proving to me that indeed this was possible for me.

Although Asian boy is hot and others tell him so, he may not totally see it the way they do.