Blind

I realize that I am living my life contingent on a goal that I have been unwilling to admit its full importance.

I've been looking for someOne. I want a relationship so badly. I can't believe it. I fuck around at work. I bust my ass at the gym. I read the shit I read in my spare time--because that's what I seek.

However, I've been stubborn about making all the necessary admissions to facilitating the finding of real someOne.

I think that although I'm attracted to some women, I am not attracted enough to them at this point to be with one long term.

The comparison between AB and BG was just too obvious.

Yes, they were different in multiple ways. She has a soul that's like a masterpiece. His is simple. They are both beautiful. She is beautiful enough for me on the outside, and superhuman on the inside. He's beautiful enough for me on the inside, and yet superhuman on the outside. Fuck--what to do?

Is my response difference a gender issue or some other trait?