Impossible to Read p1

So I asked out Buddhist girl earlier this week. The invitation was not exaclty to a date but I kept the situation as ambiguous as possible in order to test the water. To some degree the strategy worked. I realized she's incredibly difficult, if not nearly impossible to read--a rarity for me.

The group is again putting together an event. Public rapport is a major concern for the group--everything from community service to just facilitating realizations of what life may truly be--the promotion of awareness.

So this morning we were to rise early meditate and again do menial labor for these goals. Buddhist girl, or Emily, as I called her in a previous post, e-mailed a request for a ride. I replied but someone had according to her beat me to the punch.

She sent the e-mail really late too. She didn't show up. I did. Almost no one showed up. I meditated and actually experienced some pretty incredible moments--totally unexpected. The housemate of the guy who hosted the meditation was also show stoppingly hot. Steamy deep set brows, offwhite cream-like skin, short dark hair, and piercing light blue eyes... he was wearing a red shirt that totally set off all of his colors. He had a sharp whit with which he greeted me as soon as I entered. I was complaining about the mosquitos in the bushes when he suggested I alternatively watch out for other prey. Corny and wierd joke but I was too busy adjusting my eyes to his hotness. He proved really nice and helpful throughout the morning. He's an alumnus and a do-gooder with a heart for nature as he chose to not go into something more lucrative.

I was dismayed when I heard Buddhist girl wasn't there but then I heard that she would be available after noon. I wondered whether she was getting another ride from someone else.

I got bored and offered to go buy more tools. I asked if anyone wanted to come along. This other chick who had a major crush on me a few weeks back smiled and volunteered. We went and we had some major real conversation. I to some degree put to rest some misconceptions she had of me. Hopefully that helped to ease any tension between us and make things good.

When I came back, I heard that Buddhist girl didn't have a ride. My head immediately snapped up and said that I would pick her up and then leave afterwards. One of the members who witness my reaction from beginning to end, gave me a penetrating look before looking away pensively. Yea, I'm into her.

I went, and she was waiting for me on the porch of her dorm. She had her feet up, totally relaxed. Yum, a girl with confidence. She smiled at me as soon as I arrived and sauntered down the steps as she looked right at me. Whoa.... no shyness here. None AT ALL. I looked away for a moment only to catch this good looking dude on his way in, stop and start staring at us. He was just smiling in amusement.

I loudly yelled before she got to me--HEY WASUP and then her name. She smiled and said, I'm good in her cutesy girl tone of voice. She got in and we started shooting the shit.

I mentioned her late e-mail and how I didn't know how she would make the early meditation. She said she had been at a ball yesterday night. I said--cool, that sounds like a lot of fun. It's nice being hot, I thought to myself. There was a beat, and then she ammended, "Well, actually, I was only there until 11." I nodded. "Then I went over to a sing along in the student center," she said.

Sing ALONG? I thought WTF is this? Grade school? I think she got a hint of my reaction, I was desperately trying to play it off as if I was touched and amused. I think she was reading me rather well because she added--yea, everyone was drunk. Aaaaaah, gotcha, I said.

We were silent for a while. I loosely described the meditation and said that perhaps next time I should just show up in a monk's tunic. She laughed--a lot. I was happy. She's fucken cute. Then I realized I made a fucken wrong turn. I didn't know how long undoing the mistake would take.

"I made an incorrect turn," I announced. "Yea, I was wondering where we were going," she said again in her cutesy voice. Damn, I'm distracted gihrl... cuz u're hot as hell and making me nervous like no other. I just want to turn to you and get lost in you.

I had sent her a dinner invite via e-mail. The message was super succint and without frills. Definitely not the romantic type. But she responded with lots of enthusiasm and suggested multiple times and dates. I picked an easy one.... later in the afternoon. Too late to be casual and too early to be a real date date.

I killed myself over this decision. She's too beautiful a person to hurt in any way. Would I tell her? Should I tell her I like dudes but still like her? If I didn't tell her the former, wasn't that leading her on? Did I want to fuck this up the way I did with my office neighbor?

I said, "How about dinner at 5p?" "Suuurre," she replied. "I'm heading out after dropping you off, but I don't know how long the rest are planning to stay," I said. "If you guys are there thru 5, just call me and let me know."

"Okay--but do I even have your number??" she said as she whipped out her phone. I openned mine and passed it to her. Call your phone from mine I said. She did.

We arrived, and I said--Cool, I'll see you later then. She smiled and got out. She looked happy.