Out & About

"You need a group a friends who will get you out theres"--says my lawyer student friend, who from here on out I will refer to as 1L--a derisive term for a guy who's about to finish and make more money than he knows what do with at 24.

Last time I saw Steroid Boi at the gym, I snuffed him. I felt all stupid about it so I went back and made nice conversation. As I left, he looked up at me, and said that if I went out that night, I should text him.

I did, and then I didn't show up. I stopped generating the 'going out' mood. So tonight, I asked him if he was going out and he said yes, the name of the bar, and so we agreed to meet up.

Last week, PB had told me about a party for tonight. I haven't heard from him except for a few scattered IMs, so I just figured he's not really into me anymore. He had only gotten as far as telling me the name of the party and letting me know that he didn't know yet if he got to put someone on the list or not.

While getting directions on line to meet up with Steroid Boi, I notice that the club at which we're meeting is the same as at where PB's party is. Hmmmm.... I might run into him. Oh well, this club is regarded fairly well and I've never been. So... I was going no matter what.

Being the queen that I've developed into, I fucken took way to long to get ready. Steroid Boi texted me that the crowd was not cool. Weird I thought, PB made this party out to be a big deal. A little while later--yes it took me that fucken long to look normal--he texted me again. He had left. Oh well, I'm still going I told myself.

L1 was on the phone with me and he approved of my look over cell phone pic exchanges. Yay for technology and freaks like me whose best friends are across the country:)

Off I went across the city to this other recently christened gayborhood.

The bouncer had an awesomely large steroidal body--so I was looking forward to going inside. The go-go bois for the evening were advertised as being very muscly. PB did tend to stick out amongst the twinks as more muscular than they so... it seemed to make sense.

As I crossed the street two other guys were coming through an alley. They were about to turn onto the street and towards the club when one of them slowed down considerably and started staring at me. I slowed because we were about to both turn onto the same street and they were going to do so before me. Nope... they just stood there and stared right at me as I awkwardly decided to not stop walking and finally headed towards the club. They were right behind me.

You know... I love my demographic. More power to us gay guys. But I must say, a little tact is always a warm gesture. I adore attention, but all in good taste. Be nice about it. Be suave and don't slap someone over on the head with some blatant move that just blares--we're STARING AT YOU. How the fuck is that supposed to encourage any sort of exchange?

As I headed in, I noticed how much the place reminded me of my first gay club. A good thing. I immediately made myself towards the bathroom. There were two lines. Damn.

A blond shirtless guy was in front of me. He wore a baseball cap and jeans. He had the most incredible body. Long and lithe torso tapered to an impossibly muscled and wasp-like waist. He strutted the most callipygous buns--YUUUUUM. He was nothing but an elongated v shaped collection of taught and tanned muscles. I started to get hard. Apparently, I wasn't alone because someone randomly started stroking his lower back and the small of it that led into his ass crack. Fuck, I wanted to do the same too.

I urinated and headed towards the bar. The place was much smaller than I expected and all the dancers were rather on the older side. Odd. I swung around the whole place and saw Blondie dancing. He was getting into with a black haired guy who was wearing two layered shirts. Quite the contrast. The fog machine hissed and continued to billow out smoke.

It seemed that whoever I looked at either immediately darted their glance elsewhere or looked at me way to intensely. So I stopped looking at anyone altogether. Ick on my behalf.

I sat as close to Blondie as possible. Some decent looking cute guy came up to me and asked if I was up for dancing. I really wasn't so I smiled and said not really. He shrugged and shied away.

I'm a fucker.

I stared and stared at Blondie as suddenly him and Dark-haird Guy started mauling each other. Holy cow--they were a couple! Man--Dark-haired guy was just plainly not attractive! To where had the laws of the universe retired?!?!

I mentally shrugged and looked around. Suddenly I saw the most demonic smile on an older and very thin guy across the dance floor. Wait a second I though--I know that haunting smile anywhere. I stood up from my stool and closed in.

He perked up as he saw me through the crowd and then exploded into a smile and then laughter. It was fucken Spence! Of all people! My last boss.

I headed over there and we hugged. He was very respectful to not allow his hands to wander. OMG--of all the bars in the city I wouldn't ever expect to see you here, he said. What ARE you doing here, he asked.

I'm not answering that I said and mischievously grinned at him. Ha--You'll tell me all about it he said.

Uhhhhmmm..... gogo boy I've been hanging out with might be here from MH and Steroidal guy from gym was here but left.

He dropped his jaw and laughed---u on MH! That's the sluttiest site!

I cynically smiled at him.

Congrats on your exam he said. You never replied to my last e-mail--I'm hurt.

Me: They offered my old position again last week. Why'd u quit?
Spence: B/c management there is crazy! I wanted to rehire you as of Nov. but they said no, and then they ordered me to do it, but by then, I was ready to go.
Me: So what are you doing now?
Spence: Hawaii, SF, TX, my last deal, and then I retire.
Me: Wow... and I thought I was a big shot for getting them to double my salary for my return.
Spence: (Jaw drops) Oh and you're worth it! Because you are haaaaaawt! He said as he trailed his palm from my shoulder down to my chest. I didn't like that. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic.
Spence: (Pulling his hand away) are you drunk?
Me: No
Spence: Good because I definitely am. Sooo... why don't u just become a rent boy and make a lot of money?
Me: Can't--I'd never be admitted to the Bar.
Spence: Ha--only if Huckaby wins!
Me: No... I'd be debarred no matter what.
Spence: Well, why don't u take your shirt off and go dance?
Me: (Shrugging) I'm not in the mood tonight. I'm going to go get another drink... I'll be back.

The bartender was nice. He didn't charge me for my diet cola. I turned around and saw Blondie all by himself standing in a corner looking impossibly fucking gorgeous. I headed over there.

You have the smallest waist possible, I said into his ear.

He doubled over slightly in laughter and realized I was serious. I asked, do you mind if I ask how much it measures?

He smiled big and yet awkwardly--28 inche he said. Wow, I thought, I bet you that's an overestimation too. It could've been 25 inches.

I noticed he had a slight accent. Where are you from? I asked. His accent was slight, he looked surprised I asked.

The Czech republic, he said. Fucken ay--the gay porn star capital of the world. No wonder he was sooo gorgeous.

How long have you been here I asked. 1 year. It was his first time at the club. Ha! Me too! Yay!

I asked him what he did for a living. A child psychologist!? No way!!! We talked some more. He seemed uncomfortable. I over do it. I know. I was like interviewing him as if he were on fucken 20/20.

I shook his hand and said Nice meeting you. He rubbed my shoulder and back and said likewise. Whooooof I thought. What a major hottie. Too bad he's with that other guy.

Ohp.... well no he wasn't. Cuz they exchanged numbers later that night. Haha.... he's free. He was making out with another guy--sort of. He's a ho I thought and an educated one at that. Hmm... Gotta investigate this one.

"Are you up for working out sometime?" I asked later stupidly. Hey you never know, that's how I started dating my first dude.

He looked a little weirded out. Where do you workout? he asked. I told him. Don't worry, I said, I have guest passes.

He looked at my phone and I handed it to him. Shit, it was in another language--I do that to keep my skills sharp. He was majorily confused. So I inputed his number.

Great! I said. We shook hands again.

He left. I left. Not a bad night. PB was no where to be seen. Had I stayed at home I might've been tempted to sulk--b/c he didn't invite me. Instead, I find out, the party never even took place really. I hope he's doing well. I'll phone him tomorrow.