Baby

My God. I love you more than I thought little one.

I remember you. Chubby and so beautiful. Just taken from your mother’s side. The panic in your eyes. You trembled. So did my sister as she cried in terror. But before the day was over, you melted the fear from her, and you both fell asleep together.

You became so beautiful. The runt. Initially overlooked for your brown and black. But as you grew, you were unrivaled in symmetry, elegance, and expression.

You were a ball of personality. Everything about you said something. You didn’t need words.

You knew us so well. You loved us so much. Your love for us was so obvious. Whenever we came in. Whenever we weren’t home.

More than that, you knew us all. From grandpa M. to grandma C. You brought joy to us all. You joined us all. They had all had dogs, but there was none like you. There really was none like you.

No dog could command the way you did, simply with your posture. Your eyes, your glare. The intense earnestness that was ready at the slightest hint of trouble.

You were there when I heard the unreal. You heard it too. You crossed the jungle, the great lake, and the rivers with me. You knew. You always knew when to make a ruckus and when to be still, absolutely still. How did you know? How did you understand?

You came with us with Elijah, Martha, Nadiesda, little Elijah, and Elissa. You were there girl. You were there. You shared the most wonderful moments with us.

When I finally left for law school. You were there. Dad, mom, M., and me—like I always dreamed. And you were there.

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t give you everything. The yard. The time. My presence all the time. I’m sorry we left you that next time we left to visit our homeland. I’m sorry we couldn’t be everything for you that you were for us.

But still. It was so awesome to have you.

You know they say you and I were so alike. Our colors, our expressions, our attitude—your attitude. I never thought of it that way honey. But I did always think you and I had a special bond because we spent your first two weeks together.

You’re going somewhere better now. Oh God, I’m so happy. You’re going somewhere you deserve. But wherever you go and wherever I go, you’ll always be my baby—my bundle of bravery, beauty, attitude, love, and loyalty. You were so much more than I could’ve ever expected from a dog. You were so much more.

Thank you for taking care of mom.

You won’t be forgotten. You’ll never be forgotten.

Rest in peace, my baby.