So I get to the beach to meet up with my São Paulo friends. I never expected to actually find them given that my phone got no coverage. However, I bumped into them almost as soon as I go there. After our slew of Brazilian cheek kisses, we made our way to their beach chairs and they introduced me to another couple. One of them has been working out at my gym back home for 2 yrs. Crazy coincidence. He’s not a very outgoing or nice guy, so I didn’t remember his name. Older guy, very nice body; face is not so nice.
After our introduction, he never spoke nor acknowledged me. Typical American. A Brazilian would have been polite enough to make small talk. I had to go the bathroom and I figured I would feel less self-conscious about being in a skimpy speedo if I went to cool off by taking a dip in the water.
I told my friends I'd be right back. I got up and started looking for a place to put my wallet and keys. I put them in between my friends' beach chairs.
Then I surveyed the area to find the best route to the water. Everyone was pretty engrossed in conversations amongst themselves. It was a good mix of folks from what looked like all over the world.
As I looked towards the horizon, I caught one of my SP friends checking me out from head to toe. He was quite unabashed about it despite the fact that his bf was sitting right next to him. When I caught him, he made no expression whatsoever, but just looked away.
I have a crush on him. I got sad that he was not impressed enough to have any expression on his face. The beach was jam packed evenly for pretty much as far as I could see. So I figured the best approach was just a straight line to the water.
I was TERRIFIED. Most guys were “in shape.” But there were A LOT, A LOT of them were just plainly IMPOSSIBLY ripped and muscular. I mean, ripped, as in under 3% bodyfat. They were like walking anatomy charts. I thought “geez... my little ol’ 8 pack will do nothing for me here.” Their tans were gorgeous too. My last min jam at the tanning salon was not going to cut it. But, even if I was terrified, I sure was not going to let anyone see my fear!
Dang it. I worked my ass for this moment, and I was going to enjoy it. My mind was racing. It wouldn’t stop. I forced myself to think of the sexiest guy I could remember. I made myself believe I was him and told myself– now walk like him!
So I headed off for the water. As I started to walk, all these groups of heads turned in my direction. “Oh man! Here we go! The big CHECK OUT AND LOOKOVER…," I thought to myself.
“Okay… no biggie. This is one of the biggest holidays… They have others to look at… Goddang it—there’s a collection of gorgeous gay men here from around the world… This won’t last more than a few painful moments… relax… keeping the zen… ohm” :D
As I walked, I started to notice that they were not looking away… That’s when I got REALLY scared. I remembered what my friend in the US had said about folks here, that if they stare for more than a moment, they like you, and you have to stare back. So I eventually I looked back in part just to confirm what I was sensing and seeing only out of the corners of my eyes. Many, like little birds on a beach, turned away. “Okay… cool… it was all in my head…”
As I started to get deeper into the crowd, I started to hear catcalls. I thought, “Oooh… there must be some really hot guy walking nearby…” I turned to look for this other guy. There was no one in the area standing or moving. Everyone around me for a good 50 yards was sitting down. Then the catcalls started getting closer to me and louder. As I finally decided to look down at the guys in the area immediately around me, I saw them cat calling, smiling, and looking at me… and avoiding eye contact at the same time.
Then I realized, they were catcalling as soon as I passed them by. I was like hooOOOOOLEEEE COW… This beach is like the best of the best… It is the Olympics of my homo-people… How is this happening?!?! I lost my composure and was just stunned…
As I continued making my way to the water, the catcalls and head turns were like a wake I was leaving. I noticed that guys would look and cat call much more so after I passed them. I couldn't fight back a faint smile... I couldn't really smile all thew way because I just thought it was too ridiculous to believe that this was really happening to me.
Eventually, I reached the water. I walked straight in until the water reached my shoulders. I just wanted to be non-self-conscious and know that a bunch of eyes were not examining me. I stayed in the water a while. I wanted to just relax for a moment. I had a really hard time peeing because I couldn’t relax hahaahahahaha. I didn’t want to get my hair wet. However, there were some SERIOUS rip-tides. The ocean had its way with me. It threw me so hard onto the sand at one point, that my entire right forearm was deeply scraped, and I had blood all over my arm.
I love nature =)
Eventually my friend approached the beach. I walked over to him. He said they were going to saddle up with their other friends and asked if I wanted to come along or if I wanted to stay here to wait for my other friends. I said I’d come along. We gathered our stuff and headed over.
As I walked through those crowds, I saw my gay life flash before my eyes. You might think I’m being dramatic but hear me out. EVERYONE from my gym in São Paulo was there. I saw guys from my gym back home. I saw folks from my gym back at school. Goodness gracious… the entire gay gym set was here! But… as if that was not enough… I saw guys from college there too! Even guys I had suspected of being gay freshman year! I literally saw men I had known from coast to coast in the U.S.
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